This week we look at unusual philosopher and street person, the Berkeley Hate Man.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.patreon.com/robotpizzavan
comedy
Driving a Hot Dog Car, and Other Weird News Stories: Episode 98
I read the whole internet and I find all the weird news stories. This week I have Analytic Psychologist, Dr. Jon Platania as a guest. We talk about a sheriff that uses cardboard cutout deputies, officials that say taking chicken nuggets left on the highway is a crime, controversy surrounding the oldest person that’s ever lived, snow in southwest china that is rare so people are selling it on the roadside to tourists, where you can buy snow online right now, a cat from Michigan that ended up in Florida but no one knows how, a job you can get at Oscar Meyer driving the hotdog mobile across the USA, and Taco Bell has a billboard in Toronto that dispenses free nacho cheese this month.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.patreon.com/robotpizzavan
Woman Bites Jogger, Restaurant’s Offensive Name, Christmas Weed, and More Weird News: Episode 97
The universe might be an expanding bubble in an extra dimension, man accused of guitar thefts has one thing to say, armed standoff ends after someone sings Christmas carol, homeless men allegedly broke into home and cooked dinner, an astronaut accidentally called 911 from space, artistic daredevil paints while skydiving, Christmas weed, woman bites jogger, and baby is named after highway where she was born.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.patreon.com/robotpizzavan
Muppets Swear: Episode 96
We listen to an audio clip of a muppet that sounds like it’s swearing. It can also sound like its saying something else. Weird. I also call almost every guest that has ever been on the show. Then we count down the new year, so make sure to play this recording at the exact time so it lines up with your new year’s countdown! You could just play it over and over to make sure.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
This Is Not A Christmas Special: Episode 95
I didn’t want to do any work this week, so let’s listen to an episode from Christmastime last year, where nobody learns any lessons and the bad guy wins at the end.
Music by Uncle Milk.
For more visit http://www.patreon.com/robotpizzavan
The 5 Most Dangerous Songs, and Other Weird Stuff: Episode 94
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2RiMl3ADVqb5sCXsmbnu08
or iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2
Thousands of dollars fall from the sky, Old Milk perfume, I am Trash perfume. dying farmer’s last will goes down in history, skilled thieves wanted for employment, company will pay you to give up your smart phone, 5 Most Dangerous Songs To Drive To (And The 5 Safest), police give $3 to person who found it 14 years ago, chocolate spill covers road, robot turns out to be a man in a suit, man Arrested in after telling kids Santa isn’t real, other man yells ‘there’s no Santa’ at holiday event, teacher who spoiled Santa will not return to school, and Ford gets rid of new car smell.
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Why Do These Seals Have Eels Up Their Noses?: Episode 93
This week On Robot Pizza Van (a weird news podcast), we talk about… Pantone’s 2019 color of the year, crematorium next door to retirement home, ping pong highlights, Major League Eating wants to eat that giant cow, police use Tesla autopilot to stop car, dog blocks soccer goal, court says man can’t be 20 years younger, robot releases bear repellent, seals with eels stuck in their noses, and a singing donkey.
Music by Uncle Milk
Weird Christmas Gifts, Public Shaming, and ATM Errors: Episode 92
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This week Offroad is with Magician and Intuitionist, Courtney Kolb, and we’re talking about weird Christmas gifts, a traffic camera that mistakes an ad for a person and charges her with jaywalking, a burger joint closes after video shows rat cooking, a man dropped the engagement ring down a drain, a hang glider clings on for his life, an ATM accidentally spit out $100 bills, and what makes some words funny?
Music by Uncle Milk
Support the show at https://www.patreon.com/Robotpizzavan
The Missing Head,Tiny Hamster Ladder, Singing Ice, and Flying Motorcycles: Episode 91
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A teen’s driver’s license revoked 1 hour after he got it, some ice is ‘singing’, Walter Raleigh’s missing head and the new clue, hundreds form human chain to move a bookstore, flying motorcycles, ski down the roof of this hotel, traffic camera catches 58,000 speeders in two weeks, leaning Tower of Pisa loses some of its lean, and a tiny ladder used to rescue hamster
A T-Shirt or a T-Rex: Episode 90
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We have a guest named ‘Join The Club’ and this week’s weird news… firefighters mistake a parrot for a fire alarm, a new record for eating kernels of corn with a toothpick, a drone steals someone’s bike, pedestrians try to cross vehicles-only bridge in a bus costume, Greggs has installed one of its signs backwards on purpose, and a couple cats try to enter a museum for two years.
Music by Uncle Milk
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It’s Like Fingernail Polish, But For Your Teeth: Episode 89
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Hard-hitting, fair and balanced, the most trusted… the weirdest news. This week we talk about how a certain optical illusion could mess up your vision if you look at it too long, the only man buried on the moon, an experiment with sound to make cheese tastier, a self-balancing walking stick that stands on it’s own, a font that helps you remember what you read, a website(who paid 99 cents) that charges 99 cents to see who else has paid 99 cents, a restaurant that lets you pay according to your Instagram followers, a guy who climbs a mountain and finds a domestic cat at the top, and a product that’s like finger nail polish but for your teeth… and more!
Purple Aliens, An Ant Steals A Diamond, The Richest Pets, and Records You Can Break: Episode 88
Here’s a bunch of news stories separated by commas. That weird glow in the sky isn’t an aurora… It’s Steve, a tiny ant tries to walk away with a little diamond, extraterrestrial life might be purple, the richest pets in the world, the new 2019 Edition of the Guinness Book of World Records, and records you can break yourself.
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Halloween, Hoaxes, and More Weird News: Episode 87
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We read the whole internet and then tell you about the weird and/or funny news. This week’s guest is writer Jim Cooper (https://jimcooperweb.wordpress.com) and we talk about spider webs that cover a lake shore, 13 runners who break Guinness records, top 10 popular Halloween costumes this year, the new fashion trend called nosewarmers, a satellite fuel tank that crashed down in a California orchard, a robot finger attachment for your mobile phone, and few hoaxes from history, including the Berners Street Hoax, The Society For Indecency To Naked Animals, Three-Eyed Fish and Selfie Rat, and more!
Fake Moon, and The Trash Geyser: Episode 86
This week Offroad is with Oddsock and they’re talking about an artificial moon that China is planning to launch , 5 squirrels with their tails tangled together, a rock that turns out to be meteorite, the cat pajama jam, the Yellowstone geyser that erupts trash, and more!
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It’s Robot Pizza Van. Take any 3 words and put them together, eventually that will be a new thing. Robot Pizza Van. Each week we read the entire internet and tell you about the weird and funny stuff.
Music by Uncle Milk
Support the show at https://www.patreon.com/rss/Robotpizzavan?auth=gQouVmKZMAjCYcXwscskTaNkvn8i1Yvj
Strange Sounds: Episode 85
This week we’re with Borg and we’re talking about the sound of plasma waves on Saturn, Jupiter’s electromagnetic sounds, the museum of endangered sounds, screaming sausages, and the gold record that the U.S.A. sent into space with a message for aliens.
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Plasma Waves on Saturn
NASA flew the Cassini spaceship into Saturn last year. Directly into it. It crashed into the planet taking measurements and readings to the very end. The Cassini launched in 1997 and took 7 years to get to Saturn. Its been hanging around orbiting and probing Saturn since then, sending the info back to us on earth. Until last year when it was running out of fuel so they wanted to crash it into Saturn rather than have it fly of into space and hit some other ship or contaminate a planet that any earth microbes might grow on. They figure crash it on Saturn. So a few months before it crashes they get in a very low orbit, like in between the planet and its rings. And so about 20 of these tight orbits later and then finally crash into the planet. But before the crash we got some weird info. The Ship picked up some plasma waves heading from Saturn to its rings and into one of its moons. They said it was like an electrical circuit, with energy flowing back and forth. Researchers converted those plasma waves into an audio file “in the same way a radio translates electromagnetic waves into music.”
Jupiter sounds
A recording of Jupiter sounds (electromagnetic “voices”) by NASA-Voyager. The complex interactions of charged electromagnetic particles from the solar wind , planetary magnetosphere etc. create vibration “soundscapes”.
Museum of endangered sounds
It’s a website with a bunch of audio clips of different technology that has gone obsolete. For instance: the connecting of 56k modems. There are currently 15 clips but look for more in the future at http://savethesounds.info/
Screaming sausages
British food scientist Stuart Farrimond has measured the decibel levels produced by sausages dating back to 1845. Farrimond discovered that today’s sausages don’t make as much noise as those made from older recipes, saying that it’s because they are more lean and contain less moisture (in England they’re called bangers because they’re so loud).
Murmurs of the Earth, Voyager Spacecraft (1977)
We launched a gold record into space in 1977 for aliens to listen to on their record players.
How To Start Your Own Country: Episode 84
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A micronation is a small area or group of people that claim to be independent but they aren’t recognized by other countries.
Reading this I kept seeing nation, country and state so I looked it up to figure out what the differences were between them.
A lot of times they’re used interchangeably to mean the same thing. As far as I can tell, A country and a State DO mean the same thing. Country and State are both an independent sovereign territory with people that live there. The United states of America, the country… Is a State. It’s confusing because in the USA were i live we also have divisions within this that we call states. I think it’s because before we united into one country they were individual sovereign states that decided to join together and give of some of their sovereignty to the larger State.
Anyway, these micronations are claiming to be independent sovereign states. To be counted as a sovereign state you have to have these things: land or territory, People who live there, a government, and other countries recognize you as an independent State. Micronations don’t have one of these things. Usually it’s that other countries don’t recognize it.
A lot of these micro nations were formed as protests to different things, others were formed when a landowner claimed their land was a separate country.
The most famous of the micronations is possibly Sealand. Maybe you’ve heard of this one. The story behind it is crazy.
Back during world war 2, in the 1940s England built some platforms out in the ocean on their coast as protection during the war. After the war a lot of these platforms stayed out their in the ocean. I think 3 miles of the coast was counted as England’s water.
But some of the platforms had been built out further than that, into international waters. One of these platforms was named Fort Roughs. By the 1960s their weren’t any military working on these platforms anymore. I’m not sure who was there first at the Fort Roughs platform. Jack Moore was going to setup a pirate radio station “Radio Caroline”. But Roy Bates wanted it for his pirate radio station “ Radio Essex”.
Ok, so then in 1967 Roy Bates gets Jack and the Radio Caroline people to leave somehow and at some point Roy Bates and his friends are firing guns in the air and throwing some Molotov cocktails. There’s even a bit about leaving one of the guys to dangle from a ladder for a few hours. The exact details are a little cloudy.
Just a year before that Roy Bates had been living on a different military platform off the coast where he had his pirate radio station. The government shut it down. That’s why He moved to the Fort Roughs platform because it was further out in international waters, but just as he did this England passed a law that said British citizens couldn’t have pirate radio stations. That’s when it all come together in his mind like a giant jigsaw puzzle. He declared independence from England.
He called himself Prince Roy and his wife, Joan Bates, and two children lived there on the platform with him. He named his country the Principality of Sealand.
In 1967 the English government sent the military to destroy a bunch of the other platforms, some of them were nearby and it freaked them out on Sealand. So the next year when Government boats were driving…what do you call driving a boat… boating along they got too close to Sealand and some people from Sealand fired some warning shots. The boats left but Roy Bates was summoned to Court in England for the firearms act.
They had legal arguments, the judge thought about it and then decided that since Sealand was outside of England’s waters they had no jurisdiction. In the 1970s he made a flag, passports, stamps, currency, national anthem and a motto: E Mare Libertas, or from the sea, freedom.
In 1978 a business partner of Roy’s Mr. Achenbach, took over the platform while Bates was away. Bates and Achenbach disagreed about building a casino or a resort, I’m not sure, but this article says that the business partner sent some armed men with a lawyer to Fort Roughs. A different article called them simply business men. They took over the platform. A coup d’etat?
Roy Bates gets together a team of 5 guys and flew in with a helicopter. It got real close but there wasn’t a bloody gun battle. The men gave up and Roy’s partner Mr. Achenbach, since he had been a citizen of sealand, he was charged with treason and sentenced to life on the platform. Finally an ambassador from Germany came and talked him into releasing Mr. Achenbach, who was a German.
In 1987 England extended its territorial waters from 3 to 12 miles which included Sealand now. In retaliation Roy Bates also extended his own waters to include a couple of port towns nearby on the coast.
In 2006 Roy and his wife retired to Spain and their son Prince Regent Michael, the acting head of state has decided to live in Essex (England i guess) and leaves the platform to caretakers.
Roy Bates lived to be 91 years old and he died In 2012. I assume his son Michael still runs the Country from Essex.
Sealand is not recognized by any other countries or by the UN. The UN stipulates that artificial installations don’t count as territory.
I did see that according to Wikipedia Sealand has not disbanded and in fact there is a website sealandgov.org that seems to be the website for the country of Sealand. There’s history of sealand, the founding of Sealand, and you can buy titles of nobility are. A lord lady or baron or baroness 44.99. Count or countess for 294.99 or a duck (it’s really duke but i think this typo is funny) or duchess for 734.99. You can also buy stamps, t shirts flags, mugs, or a Sealand ID card. So it seems the dream of Sealand is still alive.
5 Things To Do After You Die: Episode 83
Offroad finds a bunch of weird news stories to tell his two co-hosts, Rygar and Borg, to try to make them laugh. Normally it’s three guys but this week it’s only one guy trying to make himself laugh.
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This week we have the top 5 cool things to do with your cremation ashes. We’ve also got a story about real fish with plastic googly eyes. Then we talk about a guy who put up an electric fence to keep the kids out of his yard. And Jim Cooper calls in with his “Interesting News” segment. Did I mention space ghosts?
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
Edible Water And Sneaker Laces: Episode 82
If you’re a regular listener then you’ve probably noticed that this, and the past two episodes have been reruns of previous episodes. We’ve been taking a break while we play our most popular episodes from the vault. We will have a new show next week.
If your a new listener… never mind.
This week we examine edible water bubbles. We don’t eat or drink any, we just examine… the idea. We’re also talking about a Harvard study on the physics behind why shoelaces come untied… and the feet that love them.
Other topics that we get sidetracked with are Fruitarians, Breatharians, plant EKGs, Ents and Entwives, the British version of Kickstarter, Boba tea, kale(again), and we watch an advertisement(?) for Joan’s barbecue and foot massage.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Rat Cafe: Episode 81
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Rygar, Offroad and Borg present another set of unusual stories from the internet. Cat cafes, dog cafes and even a rat cafe. But first we chat about the hard-hitting questions that everyone’s been dying to know: What kind of coffee do you like? What kind of hipster? How tall is America? Why does Charlie Chaplin have the same mustache as Hitler?
There exist cat cafes where you can drink coffee while you hang around with free-roaming cats. There are also dog cafes which are very similar to the cat cafés except the cats are instead dogs. Finally, there is a rat café and guess what the cats there are? Yep, the cats are rats! Try to drink your coffee while your hanging out with rats.
This is a re-release of episode 23. We’ll be back next week with new episodes.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Spin Cycle: Episode 80
Listen here
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This is a re-release of episode 13. Let’s take a break and look back at the way things were.
We spend a bit of time watching a wash machine cycle (we review someone else’s review) and it’s some of the most fun I’ve had in a while. There’s suspense, heartache, thrills, and… cats! Here’s a little spoiler: 1600 RPMs!
Lyrebird is a startup with new speech synthesis technology. They can take a one minute recording of someone’s voice and use it to generate a key which can then be used to generate speech of that person saying anything you want. The company is giving it away for free?
Offroad mentions a theory that looting of stereo equipment during an LA riot helped rap/hip hop to grow. Actually, the theory is that this looting happened during a blackout in New York city in 1977. There is a caterpillar that eats plastic, on purpose. I think he likes it. There is also a quick (ha ha) story about particle accelerators. Look out for Future Shock – the idea and the Herbie Hancock song. Borg shows off his audio fading techniques (the fastest fade in the west).
Music by Uncle Milk
iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2
Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233
Zombie Cats: Episode 79
A family buried the wrong pet, police accidentally pepper spray the Tour De France, two men escape from a nursing home to attend a heavy metal show, a 14 year old is running for governor, a captured fugitive was recorded doing the ‘in my feelings challenge’, and Jim Cooper with “interesting news”.
Hybrid Dolphins, Tiny Pizza Chairs, and Baby Shark Thieves: Episode 77
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This week we talk about thieves that steal a shark by dressing it like a baby. Then, you know that little plastic thing that keeps the pizza box from squishing the pizza? It’s called a pizza table and now you can get tiny little matching pizza chairs. We also talk about a man who dug a hole in his living room to look for treasure. Finally, those crazy scientists are at it again and this time they’ve discovered a new hybrid dolphin.
There’s a lot of weird stuff on the internet and not enough time to look at it all. We find all of the unusual news and scrunch it into about a half hour.
Gibberish Song, Literally Poison Books, and Combustible Tortilla Chips: Episode 76
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This week Borg hosts this episode as we talk about literally poisonous books, a bot that negotiates your bills, a gibberish song, and combustible tortilla chips.
There are some old books that are covered in poison, just like in that novel “The Name of the Rose”. There’s also this chatbot that will chat with your bills and try to negotiate you a better price. Then Prisencolinensinainciusol is song that supposed to sound like English to people who don’t speak English, but it’s complete gibberish. And then we’re looking at the spontaneous combustion of tortilla chips.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
Crow Vending Machine: Episode 75
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This week we talk about drunk seagulls, crow vending machines, the lunar wave, and lighting a cigarette off of a burning car.
There’s a lot of weird stuff on the internet and not enough time to look through all of it. We find all of the unusual news and scrunch it into about a half hour.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
Cats on the Internet: Episode 74
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Cats and the internet, sarcophagus soup, an accident prone koala, internet shutdown in Algeria, and Reddit’s shower thoughts.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
Helicopter Prison Break, Accidental Car Theft, and the Woman Mistaken for Dead: Episode 73
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It’s Robot Pizza Van, where we read the entire internet to bring you the odd interesting and unusual news stories, my name is Offroad and today we’re talking about A woman who was found alive in the morgue, a helicopter prison break, an accidental car theft, and the Flynn Effect.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Rat Eats Cash, Snail Memory Transfer, and Odd Promotional Product: Episode 72 of Robot Pizza Van podcast
A rat eats $19,000 in cash, memory is transferred between two snails, meat scented candles, and a kid is cleaning up the ocean. Special appearance by Mathman.
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A rat got into an ATM machine and nibbles all the bills. Find out how you can tell if rats have eaten YOUR money. Then, scientists transfer the memory of one snail to the mind of another snail. We also look at the hottest new condiment merchandising – meat scented candles (I forgot these are candles and I’ve been eating them). Finally as in the final story, but also finally as in after a long delay, a kid has invented a way to clean the plastic from the ocean.
Music by Uncle Milk
and also
ChaosMusic
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Turtle Crossing: Episode 71
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Some drivers intentionally hit turtles. Leonidas of Rhodes holds an Olympic record for around 2,000 years, until recently. A severed rattlesnake head bites a man. A wolf-like creature is discovered in Montana. Is it the Game of Thrones dire wolf?. A poor little squirrel was rescued from his overgrown teeth. Mid-year resolutions. Justin Trudeau’s left eyebrow has gone off the hook and other strange video artifacts.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
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Woolly Mammoths? We’ll Get Around To It: Episode 70
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Some guy is selling a hot dog in a bottle of water, Hot Dog Water. Scientists found a 99 million year old frog that was trapped in amber, along with the beetle that the frog was about to eat. Cloning woolly mammoths? We’ll get around to it. You know those tiny bottles of alcohol? A truckload of them spilled on a highway. Earlier it was a truckload of spaghetti sauce. Before that it was bourbon and before that it was frozen pizzas. All spilled on highways… in the same state. Bring silverware if your going on a road trip. This week’s feel good story… someone invented a gravity electric generator.
Music by Uncle Milk
and
The Zombie Dandies.
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Lemonade Stand Fines: Episode 69
Robot Pizza Van podcast reads the entire internet and tells you about the funny things. This week’s special guest, author and artist… David Bright. What do we talk about this week? A pile of onions out in the desert. A snake causes a power outage. A robot dog’s funerals. A celebration that causes an artificial earthquake. A company that will pay any fines that kids get for running a lemonade stand. Music by Uncle Milk.
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Drink With A Toe: Episode 68
Or listen in iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2
We read the entire internet and here’s some things. To qualify for an internship at one of the world’s largest candy company you have to identify every Skittle flavor blindfolded. Changing the subject, there is an iPhone case that doubles as a 20 pound dumbbell so you can… I don’t know. But hey, here’s a different thing… sharks will listen to jazz if you give them food and there’s a restaurant that gives it’s patrons water pistols to fight off the seagulls. Which reminds me… there’s a bar that serves a drink with an unusual ingredient… ok I’ll tell you what it is… it’s a person’s toe. And never start a sentence with the word ‘and’ but nonetheless… Pork roll flavored ice cream.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Robot Politicians, Audio Illusions, Mussels on Opioids, and a Dead Man’s Finger:Episode 67
Or listen in iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2
A robot is running for Mayor, we listen to a few audio illusions, Seattle mussels test positive for opioids, the police use a dead man’s finger to unlock a phone, and Somebody Spilled Something Somewhere.
Music by Uncle Milk
and
The Zombie Dandies
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Secrets of Alphabet Spaghetti, A Weird Gun, Ducks That Speed, and A New Joggling Record: Episode 66
Each week we read the entire internet and then tell you about the funny parts. This week find out which letters are in a can of alphabet spaghetti and if it spells anything. Then a gun is discovered sticking out of a car’s bumper, science has a new theory as to why ice is slippery, a duck is caught speeding, and there is a new joggling world record.
Still 99% politics free and it would have been 100 except that I mentioned the word politics twice now.
Or listen in iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2
Music by Uncle Milk
and
The Zombie Dandies
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Accidental Zombie Alert, Cheetos Shortage, and the Amenities of an $85 Million Apartment: Episode 65
An accidental zombie alert goes out over the public emergency system… again. If they keep doing this then when the real zombies come nobody is going to believe it. We’ve got a classic case of ‘the boy who cried zombie’. Also, a woman claims that Oreo never paid a prize that she won. Then, New York is running out of Cheetos. And finally, an $85 million dollar apt comes with trip to space and other anemones… enemies…amenities! These are the newses!
Music by Uncle Milk
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Weird Voicemails, Phone Booth Stuffing, Polished Tin Foil, and The Tiny Tooth Sensor: Episode 64
Listen in iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2
Phone booth stuffing was an attempt to see how many people could fit inside of a phone booth. Phone booth stuffing also sounds like it could be a side dish at a the AT&T company picnic. Before that, we get a voicemail about weird and mysterious voicemails from the ‘What The Podcast’ (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/what-the-podcast/id1349582735?mt=2). And before both of those two other things we discover that it takes a lot of work to create a polished aluminum foil ball. And finally, before…after everything else, the tiny tooth sensor that’s taking your mouth by storm.
Listen Music by Uncle Milk
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Zombie Raccoons, Exploding Ants, Why Haven’t Aliens Visited Earth and Borg’s Pet Fly: Episode 63
Offroad, Rygar and Borg read the entire internet to find the newsiest stories for you. This week… why haven’t aliens visited earth, zombie raccoons, a man waters a plant for his late wife, and exploding ants. Also today, for the first time, we learn the name of Borg’s pet fly.
Music by Uncle Milk
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The Typo That Won the War, a 44 Furby Organ, Robot Strippers, Phone Bans and Things: Episode 62
or iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2
Hey, this time… The typo that won the war, a 44 Furby organ, robot strippers, and other things.
Ok, the other things are… a paper airplane folding machine, some of Yoko Ono’s art was stolen, a student that works around the phone ban, and ladies and gentleman, today we meet Borg’s pet fly.
Music by Uncle Milk
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The Race for Underachievers, $500 Fine for an Apple, and Selfie Monkey in Court: Episode 61
This week… The .5k race for underachievers… Selfie monkey loses in court… Woman is fined $500 for an apple… Man attacked by shark, mauled by bear and bit by snake… And More!
‘What The Podcast’ left us a voice mail about new developments with the AI Robot named Sophia. Check out their show about paranormal and conspiracy stuff on iTunes or SoundCloud – https://soundcloud.com/what-the-podcast
Music by Uncle Milk
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Platypus Milk, A New Human Organ, and Slices of Ketchup: Episode 60
Listen in iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2#episodeGuid=tag%3Asoundcloud%2C2010%3Atracks%2F433808073
Platypus milk can save the world, a new human organ has been discovered, and slices of ketchup.
Platypus milk has a newly discovered type of antibiotic property that could help us if all the germs became immune to our current antibiotics. And… scientists discovered a new organ in the human body that acts like a shock absorber for your bones and muscles. How did they overlook this before? And, and… a company is on Kickstarter funding slices of ketchup and other condiments.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
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Slowest Roller Coaster Crash, Flat-Earther’s Rocket, and Gold Falls From The Sky: Episode 59
You want to hear the news that they’re not telling you, the news that has been hidden from your eyes thirsty for the quenching refreshment of truth. Thirsty eyes. The most important information has been hidden in plain sight, in the guise of seemingly random, silly and weird news stories.
Here’s what I found this week – The slowest roller coaster completely stops in the middle of a ride and no one noticed. A man builds his own steam powered rocket so he can launch it high enough to see whether the Earth is flat or not. Gold is reported to have been falling from the sky in Russia. Those are the incredibly relevant news stories that we cover this week.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Cobots, Gobots, and Twitter Bots
What do robots that work alongside people, cars that transform into other things, and government propaganda have in common? No, I’m asking you. I don’t know.
soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan/cobots-gobots-and-twitter-bots
Cobots are built to work alongside people. “Hey, hand me that wrench!”, “Bleep bloop”.
Then, I always thought the Gobots were a pale imitation of the Transformers. Turns out that Gobots are the pale originators?
And finally, Twitter bots and are they all out to get us?
What’s In My Facebook Data: Episode 57
A glitch breaks Facebook for a minute, Elon Musk deletes his Facebook accounts, and Offroad take a look at the data Facebook has about him.
There’s a story from the beginning of this year when Facebook glitched out for a minute and told people that there was nothing new to see, no new posts… nothing. That was a simpler time. Elon Musk has deleted his Facebook accounts including one for SpaceX, Tesla, and one that kind of looks like his personal page. Then Offroad downloads the data that Facebook has gathered about him and tells you what’s in it. Oh, and maybe somebody bit Beyonce.
Music by Uncle Milk
For more information visit http://www.robotpizzavan.com
Be A Choice: Episode 56
‘Be a choice’ is today’s catchphrase, Owen Wilson says ‘wow’ a lot, you can send your name to the sun, the oldest message in a bottle, and cyborg body hacks… this week on the Robot Pizza Van.
Owen Wilson says ‘wow’ in his movies so often that people have started to notice. Now there are numerous public gatherings for fans to say ‘wow’ like Owen. Wow! Then, NASA is sending a mission to the sun’s atmosphere and you can send your name along. Maybe they will drop them all into the hellish furnace of the sun. Then, then, the oldest message in a bottle has been found. I wonder what it says. No, I know what it says. I’m just adding to the suspense. The last story today is about cyborg hacks you can currently do to your own body like the brain lace, magnetic finger tips, RFID chip implants, or an arm that detects earthquakes.
Music by Uncle Milk
Fortune Cookie Lotto Winner: Episode 55
The news this week: Alexa’s creepy laugh, Grumpy Cat wins in court, fortune cookie numbers win the lottery, and the $1,600 Uber ride.
Amazon’s smart device, Alexa has been laughing at random times during the day, sometimes during the middle of the night. Amazon finally acknowledged it. Then, Grumpy Cat wins a copyright lawsuit against a coffee business that had misused his likeness. After that, someone played the lucky numbers from inside a fortune cookie and won the lottery, including surprising information about fortune cookie numbers. Finally, the Uber ride that cost a sleeping man $1,600 and his struggle not to pay it.
Music by Uncle Milk
Killer Whales Can Speak English: Episode 54
Killer whales, also known as orcas, can imitate human speech. They can imitate a lot of things. Orcas are the parrot of the sea. Then, A Swiss university is the first to offer a degree in yodeling. They should have called it Yodel University.
Employees at Apple’s new “spaceship” headquarters building keep walking into the giant glass walls. And the last story is about the #Lastman contest, a competition to see who can go the longest without learning who won the Superbowl.
Music by Uncle Milk
The Philadelphia Experiment: Episode 53
Did the military use secret advanced technology to render a navel destroyer invisible? Well, that’s what I heard. This week we look at the Philadelphia Experiment, where the story came from and where it’s going.
We also talk about a material made of nano-tubes that absorbs 99.9% of light, making it the darkest artificial material, and we talk about the delivery robots that we’ve been seeing around town.
Listen on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2#episodeGuid=tag%3Asoundcloud%2C2010%3Atracks%2F408880521
Music by Uncle Milk
Support us on http://www.patreon.com/robotpizzavan
Grackles At The Petrol: Episode 52
Hundreds of grackles gathered at a petrol station, a Starbucks on Yosemite, a UFO at the latest SpaceX launch, and a court case to prove Bigfoot exists. All this and more on Robot Pizza Van’s 52nd episode. Let’s see, that’s one episode a week… 52 divided by… carry the one… It’s been a year! A whole year since this show was born, all tiny and wrinkled and covered in disgusting slime. Aaaaaah, how fast they grow up.
Music by Uncle Milk
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or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com
Marmorkrebs: Episode 51
Mutant crayfish clones are showing up all over the world, “As Slow As Possible” is a very slow song, Kentucky Fried Chicken is serving Gravy Cocktails, McDonald’s french fries might cure baldness, and if you sedate a plant it seems to lose consciousness.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Slow Podcast: Episode 50
Offroad, Rygar and Borg watch some Slow TV. What is Slow TV you ask? That wasn’t what you asked? No, you’re right. I’m just trying to explain what this episode is about. Slow TV is a genre of really long broadcasts where the pace of the action is very slow. Some examples include uninterrupted, unedited footage of a seven hour train ride, twelve hours of burning logs, and the thirteen hour National Knitting Night.
I think that there are a few other short news bits also.
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Music by Uncle Milk
Smalt: Episode 49
A smart salt shaker. Smalt, that’s more fun to say and it’s the actual name of the product. Then it’s on to a different story where we learn that mice are evolving to live in the city. City mice. Cmice? It doesn’t work the same as smalt. Finally we check out a band called the Virtual Currency Girls.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Space Weed: Episode 48
A pound of marijuana is sent into space and then returns to earth. At first a PR stunt but now a business idea. Sometimes it’s easier to list off a bunch of questions. What happens when you send marijuana into space? What happens when a person smokes it? Will people buy space weed? What if aliens steal your space-stash?
Music by Uncle Milk
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Space Lawyers: Episode 47
Robot Pizza Van is a comedy podcast. Normally we’re just reading funny news stories from the internet, but this week we’re flying an alien UFO around. Borg pilots the spaceship as Offroad plots a course for adventure.
We have a surprisingly good internet signal here in deep space. The first story is about Asgardia, a group of people who have gathered together to start the first space nation. They have launched a small satellite with the hopes of establishing a physical presence in space and eventual recognition from the United Nations. Then we read a story about a cigar shaped asteroid that scientist have confirmed is definitely NOT an alien spaceship. Hmmm…
Music by Uncle Milk
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Borg Goes Back In Time To Fix The Past: Episode 46
or SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan/borg-goes-back-in-time-to-fix-the-past-episode-46
Borg travels through time to the beginning of the episode in order to tell us not to read a particular funny news story. We do read some other funny stories first. One story is about how your house might be bugged and what you can do about it. There’s another story about lifelong best friends who discover they are actually brothers.
We finally do read the forbidden story, even though Future-Borg warned us not to. The story inexplicably drives people to do crazy things. It’s so dangerous that we send Borg back to the beginning of the episode in order to stop us from reading it.
Music by Uncle Milk
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“8 More Unusual Musical Genres” by Robot Pizza Van, a comedy podcast
We had so many unusual musical genres knocking on our door last week that it spilled over into this week’s show. Let me introduce to you the 8 that jammed their foot in the door when I tried to close it: Space Disco, Nintendocore, Chiptune, Yacht Rock, UK Garage, Simpsonwave, Black MIDI/Impossible Music and ancient Indian Classical Raga.
Next week we begin our new Season 2, so keep an eye out for new and exciting things.
Music by Uncle Milk
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7 Unusual Musical Genres: Episode 44
In today’s modern world there are so many different musical styles and genres that it can be hard to keep track. Luckily, Robot Pizza Van has gathered some of the more unusual of them for you to take note of. You have a paper and pencil ready, or was that just a figure of speech?
First we listen to Lowercase which is a style of extreme ambient minimalism. It’s like turning up the sound on something that is usually quiet. Then Vaporwave is a style of music that reminds me of the soundtrack to software of the 1990s. We also listen to a kind of music called Noise. The people who play this music call it that. I’m not making a judgement.
Hey, time for a new paragraph! Speedcore is like techno music played real fast. Then there’s Cringe Pop. That’s when it’s so bad it’s good. It comes around full circle.
One, two, three, four, five… ok, then throat singers, we listen to some throat singers. And finally, the seventh and last unusual musical genre that we check out is Seapunk. It is much like the above mentioned Vaporwave with the added benefit of everything being sea-themed, including mermaids, shipwrecks and cool haircuts.
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Definitely Not A Christmas Special: Episode 43
Nobody learns any lessons and the bad guy wins at the end. Amidst the protests of co-hosts Rygar, Borg, and some supernatural surprise guests, Offroad makes sure that this is not a Very Special Christmas Episode.
Just a regular old episode. Yep. Pen spinning is a thing that we’ve all done. You haven’t? Pick up that pen there and hold it like you’re going to write something. Now flip it around your hand without dropping it. Ok, now… pen spinning is a thing that we have all done, but some people take it to another level. There is an entire pen spinning competitive world with international championships.
Then we look at some ‘funny news of the past’ including a scientist who invented bullet proof wheat (make a joke about lasagna here, maybe something about lasagna replacing body armor?) and edible ink on hot dogs (hot dog-vertising).
And although we try not to, in the end… I guess we all learn a little bit about ourselves. But you should listen anyway.
Music by Uncle Milk
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Robot Pizza Van, a Weird News Podcast 